Fact or Fiction - We're Moving to The Islands!

The following submission is either completely fictional or is fact-based. You decide - Please add a comment noting whether you think it is True or False with your own entertaining or supporting commentary. The answer will be revealed in a future comment on this post.

Sometimes you just can't ignore the signs. It started simply enough last Sunday when a few Facebook pictures motivated a comment from Matt's brother, observing that Sint Marten "would be a hard place to leave". These words would linger in our minds and eventually contribute to a life-altering decision.

On Monday morning Matt received an email from Zillow.com that included the estimated value for our Colorado home.  We were pleasantly surprised to discover that the hot housing market had reached Golden. That night, while sitting on the dock enjoying drinks, we discussed the flexibility that our home equity might afford us.

On Tuesday we ran into Pierre, the owner of the pool-house we are renting. We complimented him on his yacht, a real beauty which is 20 years old, but well maintained. He thanked us and casually added that it is for sale because he doesn't use it as often as he used to.

The picture started coming together.  That night we discussed the possibility of selling our house, buying Pierre's Horizon 57' yacht, and moving aboard for a life of blue water, cool rum, and fresh fish.

This upcoming Wednesday we return to Colorado for several weeks. We have already contacted our realtor and will sign a power of attorney so the property sale can occur while we are in Europe this autumn. If all goes according to plan, we will celebrate Christmas from the deck of our floating home in the Caribbean, going from island to island and living a life we had never dreamt possible.

Fact or Fiction? The Scots Love Animal-Shaped Soaps

Fact or Fiction? The Scots Love Animal-Shaped Soaps

The following submission is either completely fictional or is fact-based. Please add a comment noting whether you think it is True or False with your own entertaining or supporting commentary. The answer will be revealed in a future comment on this post.

At first we thought the adorable bear soap was just part of the charm associated with our initial Scottish Bed and Breakfast establishment, but we soon realized that the trend didn’t end there. Public restrooms, hotels, and pubs all proudly presented an impressive and colorful selection of animal-shaped hand soaps. We even encountered a bustling stand at a village market that specialized in this unique product offering.

It didn’t take long for the quaintness to wear off, at least for Matt. He was willing to accept sharing his bath and shower space with cuddly animal designs of bear, cat, and dog, but drew the line when he encountered a unicorn-shaped soap. “This is getting ridiculous!” he protested before calmly refusing it, citing health and safety concerns.

A bit of online research revealed an entire subculture that fears washing with animal-shaped soaps – The term is ablutozoophobia in the mental health community, but Matt simply refers to these individuals as “justified”. Anyone planning a trip to Scotland should take this warning to heart and consider a healthy alternative such as Ireland where we’ve heard all soaps are green and in the shape of a four-leaf clover.

Fact or Fiction? Matt Diagnosed with Rare “Fiji-Tooth”

That's the Worse Case of "Fiji Tooth" We have Ever Seen!The following submission is either completely fictional or is fact-based.  Please add a comment noting whether you think it is True or False with your own entertaining or supporting commentary.  The answer will be revealed in a future comment on this post.

It didn’t take long to become impressed by the natural beauty of Fiji.  Expansive beaches, crystal clear water, and the wonderful, welcoming people.  But the clear skies soon darkened when Matt awoke one morning with a strange sensation in the right side of his mouth.  A quick look in the bathroom mirror revealed an unexpected sight.

We had read about isolated cases of what the locals refer to as “Fiji-Tooth” while reading about the islands.  The affliction imparts immediate and excessive growth of incisor or canine teeth; Matt’s dental victim was his right, top canine.  The symptoms include formation of an enamel-based root system atop the crown of an existing tooth, much like the portion that can be seen in x-rays at a dentist’s office, but on the surface rather than below the gum line.  Additionally, a rapid deterioration of cognitive abilities has been associated with Fiji-Tooth; Matt has demonstrated a solid dumbing-down since encountering this recent decline in health.

All was not lost though – Frustrated by Matt’s vacant look and vapid conversation, Jenn became hostile and punched him right in his funky Fiji-Tooth, which went flying from his mouth.  The impact of Jenn’s fisticuff also knocked both his hat and his senses straight.  Matt experienced minor pain from this informal introduction to Jenn’s knuckles which was easy to treat with a bottle of locally-made (116 poof) Bounty rum.

To ensure that Matt was fully cured, he and Jenn visited the local Coral Coast dental office.  The dentist, amazed at the rapid recovery, was quick to exclaim his shock as he stated with a heavy island accent, “This is the first instance I’ve encountered in which someone has literally had the stupid slapped out of them!”

We paid our medical tab and left satisfied returning to the beautiful beach for some well earned rest and relaxation.

Fact or Fiction? Shaved Ice Vendor Experimenting with Sushi Flavors

Haleiwa Shaved Ice

The following submission is either completely fictional or is fact-based.  Please post a comment noting whether you think it is True or False with your own entertaining or supporting commentary.  The answer will be revealed in a future comment on this post.

Our stay on Oahu and Maui is reaching its conclusion and somehow we nearly missed out on a Hawaiian islands’ tradition, shaved ice - That tasty treat known in Ohio (where we grew up) as snow cones.  Luckily, our travels this week took us to the little town of Haleiwa where we encountered Matsumoto’s Haleiwa Shaved Ice.

This legendary shaved ice hot spot was hard to miss with its long line of customers cascading onto the sidewalk.  We spotted a camera crew from the local news outlet and quickly learned that Matsumoto’s supplemented its traditional syrup flavors (i.e.: cherry and banana) with more creative offerings such as green tea and pickled mango, but that wasn’t what had attracted the media.  Further investigation revealed that the owners were experimenting with a new flavor based on sushi grade ahi tuna which was presented with an optional dollop of fresh wasabi.

When asked about the creative offering, the shop’s representative informed us that it was created in an effort to appeal to the Japanese tourist community which contributes strongly to their business.  While sales of the unique flavor have not been significant, it has garnered positive press and increased foot traffic to this local institution which currently sells more than 1,000 shaved ices each day.

Fact or Fiction? Gypsy Chickens Take Over the Florida Keys!

The following submission is either completely fictional or is fact-based.  Please post a comment noting whether you think it is True or False with your own entertaining or supporting commentary.  The answer will be provided in a future comment on this post.

We were enjoying another lovely day in the Florida Keys when we stopped to access cash from a local ATM.  As we returned to our car in the parking lot of the Winn-Dixie grocery store, we were accosted by a “Gypsy Chicken” – A proud, colorful rooster seeking to relieve us of the recently withdrawn funds.  We narrowly escaped the surprise encounter without harm and quickly made our way further down The Keys and away from what we assumed was an isolated population of poultry punks.

Little did we know we would encounter more fowl play when we arrived in Key West.  Caravans of the Gypsy Chicken were visible throughout the town, each more unkept and uncivilized than the last.  These societal castoffs had given up on traditional farm-based employment and had taken to the urban neighborhoods, surviving on street smarts and strong stomachs capable of consuming the least palatable scraps.

We post this blog as a public service to anyone who may be considering voyage to the Florida Keys.  Gypsy Chickens can be quite territorial and may not take kindly to your trespass on their turf.  If you find yourself in a hostile situation, watch your wallets, avoid eye contact, and distract them by throwing pieces of bread behind you as you make a hasty retreat.